My first baby - she is gone.

I can't promise I won't cry while writing this post, but none of you will know if I do or not. Right?

Anyway, about a month ago my eldest decided she needed a change, and an opportunity presented itself to move to Las Vegas. Planning ensued, goodbye parties were held, and today I sent her off on a plane before I headed to work for the night.

Am I excited for her, and her new adventure? Absolutely. Would I have picked Las Vegas for that adventure to begin? Absolutely not. One of the other times she left was for school, and she was home every weekend. The one other time she flew the coop she was only one town away. As a result I still saw her 3 to 4 times a week. Las Vegas is a whole plane ride away (or a very long car trip).

The girls don't quite understand that she's not coming back anytime soon. I think they think that she's going on vacation. They kept asking if we could all go with her. They've gotten a little sad, a little upset, and more than a little teary over that fact that they've lost "their Stacey" as they affectionately call her. As an aside, they think every family has a "Stacey" just like every family has a Mom or Dad or Aunt or Uncle or Grandparent. It's really quite cute, but I digress.

I miss her terribly already, wish her the best of luck, and hope she stays out of trouble. Stay tuned for updates (either on her progress or my breakdown.)

The Road to College

Today our lives turned a corner on the long road to college (or some life path of their choosing), my girls started kindergarten.

When my eldest started kindergarten the teacher did a home visit ahead of time to assess the students skills, and to help prepare us parents for that momentous first day. One of the things they told us is that it would be best if we just said goodbye at the play yard gate, and walked away. No long goodbyes, no clinging hugs, just peel the kids off and go. I spent 2 weeks mentally preparing both myself and Stacey for that day. When it finally arrived I got her up, dressed, and fed. Took the obligatory first day photo (which is still one of my favorites) and headed off to school hand in hand. My heart beat a little faster as we neared those ominous gates (which in those days were chain link, but are now a lovely wrought iron). Suddenly the moment was upon us, we were there, and even more suddenly my kid was off. There she went, through the gate, to the playground, to swing on the swings, slide the slides, and climb the structures without a look back. I found that the clinging, crying child at the gate was me.

Fast forward many years to the present day when I once again found myself sending a child, two in fact, to school for the first time. I'm not sure if times have changed or if it's just the school, but there were many events leading up to this day. Parent back to school, buddy parent meetings, lemonade socials, and the like have broken us in for this first day. Instead of leaving children at the gate, parents were welcomed into the classroom and encouraged to help their children complete a classroom scavenger hunt. At the end of the hunt, the parents were gently requested to join the rest of the school for a back to school coffee social while the children took up the familiar spot on the carpet for their orientation and story time.

All of the people were a bit overwhelming for Sam, so she hung back and sat to read a book by herself, but as the parents left the room I noticed her relax and she eagerly joined the group on the rug. Riley, on the otherhand, had eagerly joined in the scavenger festivities until two things happened: 1. Parents were asked to leave, and 2. another child had gotten into their lunch bag. Suddenly she was "hungry" and grabbed onto my neck wanting me to get her something to eat. Explaining that she would eat with the rest of the class when it was time was not sufficient. I gave her a hug and kiss, said, "I love you", but that was not enough for her. Her grasp only tightened so as not to let me go. To her teachers credit (and one of the reasons we love her already), she came over, gently asked Riley to join the group, and allowed her to stand right next to her chair which is where I left her. This time there were no tears from me, though many emotions were surging through my body. Does it mean I'm any less sad or excited than I was with my first? Absolutely not. It just means that I, we, they were much better prepared.

Sometimes you get a grounder, other times it's a grand slam.

Being a parent isn't easy. No one ever said it would be. It is one of the most challenging, and sometimes unrewarding things you can do, and you never quite know if you're doing it right. Most of us strive to help our children grow into the adults we wish we were the best adults they can be.

Why am I waxing poetic on this? Because yesterday I felt like I hit a grand slam. Not a grounder, not a base hit, not even a homerun, but a bonified grand slam. Most of you know that things have been tight here, and I've been losing hours at work. Recently this means that we're cutting back on some of the "necessities" of life like vacations, summer camps for the kids, science classes, and art classes. We've also been scrimping to find money to pay utility bills, rent, and for car repairs. Amazingly, none of my kids have complained about all this, though Sam and Riley have been packing their bags for Disneyland for over a week now. I've been trying to explain to them that we are not going, but I don't think they quite get it. They offered to give me the money from their coin banks to pay for the trip. So sweet, but I'm digressing. Back to the topic at hand.

Yesterday, on Facebook, my oldest posted a message saying she was doing something nice for her Mommy. In my mind I thought this meant she was going to dye her hair back to a uniform color, she got some shirts that covered a bit more of her skin, or that she was bringing me something simple like a piece of dark chocolate. Boy was I surprised when I found out what she had done. She had taken our car in to the shop on her time, and with her own money, and had the brakes repaired. I know she probably wanted a bigger response than what she got when she arrived home, but I didn't want to get all sappy and cry on her, so I thought I'd write it here instead. This was a fabulous thing for her to do, and really makes me feel like some of my parenting might be paying off. Or could it just be that she got here on her own? Either way, I'm very proud, pleased, and happy with her, and not just because I have brakes again, but because of the wonderfulness of her kind act and her thoughtfulness for another person. Thank you sweetie. I love you.

It's been a long week around here

Last Thursday both girls starting feeling bad, Friday they were pretty lethargic and Riley was complaining that her ear hurt. I put drops in it, gave them both some Tylenol and headed off to work leaving them in Bill's hands. Saturday and Sunday Riley stayed in bed all day voluntarily. Monday we headed to their doctor since they weren't getting any better. The diagnosis? They both had bronchitis and Riley had a bilateral ear infection. In addition to this Bill and Stacey both have sinus infections they're fighting off, and all 4 were on antibiotics, and Bill, Sam, and Riley are on inhalers. Do you know how hard it is to get a 4 year old to use an inhaler properly? Amidst all this I came down with a mild version of whatever plague is going around here.

Fast forward to today. Girls are up and playing, seem to be pretty healthy, Stacey is out and about, I'm feeling much better. Just Bill is still pretty sick, or so I thought. After going to bed tonight Sam came out crying about her ear hurting. Here we go again.

They'll be hockey players yet.

Friday I had the pleasure of skating with all 3 of my girls. While Stacey is adamant about not playing hockey, Sam and Riley keep saying they want to play hockey with Mommy. (Proud smile on face.) They're still a long way from being able to play a game, just the fact that they asked to go skating made my day.

Happy Birthday Stacey

Tuesday was Stacey's birthday. We had a mellow dinner with the family, opened a few presents which at this age are all contained in cards, wished her happy birthday, and sent her out with her friends. Being the bad mother I am, I didn't get a single birthday picture of her. Someone would surely call DCFS if she were still under age.

Happy Birthday Grandma (Mom)!

The girls made cupcakes for my mom for her birthday today. They had a great time mixing up the flour, eggs, etc., pouring them into the cupcake papers, and then watching them go into the oven. They were not so excited to wait for them to bake. Afterwards Stacey helped the girls to decorate them just in time for Grandma to get here. They were so cute singing their version of Happy Birthday for her. I wish I had it on video.

Oh yeah, they also helped her blow out her candles of course.