My first baby - she is gone.

I can't promise I won't cry while writing this post, but none of you will know if I do or not. Right?

Anyway, about a month ago my eldest decided she needed a change, and an opportunity presented itself to move to Las Vegas. Planning ensued, goodbye parties were held, and today I sent her off on a plane before I headed to work for the night.

Am I excited for her, and her new adventure? Absolutely. Would I have picked Las Vegas for that adventure to begin? Absolutely not. One of the other times she left was for school, and she was home every weekend. The one other time she flew the coop she was only one town away. As a result I still saw her 3 to 4 times a week. Las Vegas is a whole plane ride away (or a very long car trip).

The girls don't quite understand that she's not coming back anytime soon. I think they think that she's going on vacation. They kept asking if we could all go with her. They've gotten a little sad, a little upset, and more than a little teary over that fact that they've lost "their Stacey" as they affectionately call her. As an aside, they think every family has a "Stacey" just like every family has a Mom or Dad or Aunt or Uncle or Grandparent. It's really quite cute, but I digress.

I miss her terribly already, wish her the best of luck, and hope she stays out of trouble. Stay tuned for updates (either on her progress or my breakdown.)

My Landscape Beautification Project

Dear Residents, Visitors, and People passing through Palo Alto,

My yard? It is not a landfill, please do not deposit your garbage here. While I appreciate that it is not beautiful, I do put some effort in mowing down those weeds to give it that lovely look of a scraggly lawn.

You people walking by while I'm mowing said weeds? Do not shake your head in disdain at my loud, ancient mower with the broken wheel. It's performing a much needed service.

Helpful man who warned me about the dangers of chopping ones foot off using a power mower? Thank you for your concern.

Residents, visitors, and people passing through Palo Alto, if you feel my yard is not up to snuff I will gladly accept donations of labor, plants, gardening, and/or money to fund this enormous project. Should we ever find ourselves in the position of having surplus food, water, clothing, and housing, I can assure you we will attempt to divert a portion of our cash flow to fund this project myself.

Until then a smile, a friendly wave, a knowing nod, etc. are all welcome "greetings" while I am laboring away at the battle of the weeds.

Sincerely,

Somewhat sweaty, grumpy me

24 hours as a new kindergartner

Preparation for the first day of school starts the night before. Who are we kidding? It starts months before, probably even years. For the purpose of this post however, we'll start the night before.

The uniforms are all ready: Jumpers and shirts hanging on hangers,

Sweaters and pants neatly folded in drawers, and shoes shiny and new and waiting to be worn.

Their new alarm clock (complete with ceiling projection) is set for 6:30 A.M., yes 6:30 A.M. Ugh.

The girls have a bath and head to bed for a good nights sleep. Afterall, they have a busy day tomorrow.

Daddy makes blueberry pancakes, bacon, and deviled eggs, orange juice, and milk for breakfast their first day (He was worried about having enough protein.) Their lunches were packed and ready to go.

A quick photo shoot with Mommy and @aktse, (with much silliness) then into the car, and off to school they went.

Once at school there were many things to do starting with a scavenger hunt (Daddy read the list). First they had to find their cubby, and put their things inside.

Then they had to find the bathroom, the calendar,

and the under the sea reading area.

At this point the girls split the list. Riley went to the rug, and built a design with the shapes while Sam found a book from the rack for Daddy to read. Soon Riley joined Daddy and Sam to hear the end of the story.

Then it was time for the kids to sit on the rug, and for the Mommies and Daddies to leave, and begin their long wait (2 hours) until the end of the day.

Waiting...

waiting...

still waiting...

Spying on the class as they take their class photo (this was taken through a volleyball net with my telephoto lens (thus the blurriness). The two short ones on the right? Those are mine.

waiting some more...

and still waiting...

Finally, it was time to pick them up. They were patiently (and quietly) lined up at the door until they were released,

and then out burst a group of excited and happy Kindergartners. A hug and kiss for Daddy,

a short stop to peek in on another mysterious room of the school, one last drink from the fountain,

and a quick goodbye to friends until tomorrow, a snack,

a peek in the science room, and it was finally time to head home, and prepare for day 2.

That first day was just 2.5 hours. 3 weeks later and they're up to 6 hour school days. Wow!

They're also just as interested in everything about the school, and they love their friends. I love the enthusiasm.

One set of carseats has become two

Since the girls were born we've always had a single set of carseats. They went in the Tahoe as it was what we deemed our safest car for them. (Our other car at the time was my Jeep Wrangler. Not really kid friendly.) It went without saying that the person with the kids had the Tahoe as well, so we swapped cars back and forth, as troublesome as that was.

This past spring we suddenly realized that we were going to need a second set of carseats since Bill would be dropping them off at school and I would be picking them up. His current place of employment is over 45 min away, which really doesn't make for great car swap possibilities, so we invested in new carseats which we installed in the Tahoe. We decided to use the older seats in the "blue car" as the girls have dubbed it. Now the blue car needed new tires, breaks, an oil change, and to have the AC juiced up before we could install the seats. Amazingly that has taken us all summer to accomplish, but finally the blue car was ready, so I installed the seats last night. Thank you Britax and thank you people who invented LATCH for a quick, easy, SAFE installation.

This morning the girls were SO EXCITED that they were going to get to ride to school in the blue car. A hug and kiss for me, and they were off, excitedly running after Bill to get into the blue car this morning. This is now a total of 4 cars they have ever been in during their little lives. They were so cute sitting up very proudly as they drove off to school.

See you this afternoon girls.

The Road to College

Today our lives turned a corner on the long road to college (or some life path of their choosing), my girls started kindergarten.

When my eldest started kindergarten the teacher did a home visit ahead of time to assess the students skills, and to help prepare us parents for that momentous first day. One of the things they told us is that it would be best if we just said goodbye at the play yard gate, and walked away. No long goodbyes, no clinging hugs, just peel the kids off and go. I spent 2 weeks mentally preparing both myself and Stacey for that day. When it finally arrived I got her up, dressed, and fed. Took the obligatory first day photo (which is still one of my favorites) and headed off to school hand in hand. My heart beat a little faster as we neared those ominous gates (which in those days were chain link, but are now a lovely wrought iron). Suddenly the moment was upon us, we were there, and even more suddenly my kid was off. There she went, through the gate, to the playground, to swing on the swings, slide the slides, and climb the structures without a look back. I found that the clinging, crying child at the gate was me.

Fast forward many years to the present day when I once again found myself sending a child, two in fact, to school for the first time. I'm not sure if times have changed or if it's just the school, but there were many events leading up to this day. Parent back to school, buddy parent meetings, lemonade socials, and the like have broken us in for this first day. Instead of leaving children at the gate, parents were welcomed into the classroom and encouraged to help their children complete a classroom scavenger hunt. At the end of the hunt, the parents were gently requested to join the rest of the school for a back to school coffee social while the children took up the familiar spot on the carpet for their orientation and story time.

All of the people were a bit overwhelming for Sam, so she hung back and sat to read a book by herself, but as the parents left the room I noticed her relax and she eagerly joined the group on the rug. Riley, on the otherhand, had eagerly joined in the scavenger festivities until two things happened: 1. Parents were asked to leave, and 2. another child had gotten into their lunch bag. Suddenly she was "hungry" and grabbed onto my neck wanting me to get her something to eat. Explaining that she would eat with the rest of the class when it was time was not sufficient. I gave her a hug and kiss, said, "I love you", but that was not enough for her. Her grasp only tightened so as not to let me go. To her teachers credit (and one of the reasons we love her already), she came over, gently asked Riley to join the group, and allowed her to stand right next to her chair which is where I left her. This time there were no tears from me, though many emotions were surging through my body. Does it mean I'm any less sad or excited than I was with my first? Absolutely not. It just means that I, we, they were much better prepared.

Washing dishes on my anniversary

Usually I'm a fairly happy go lucky person ignoring the seriousness of situations around me. When we found out we were having twins, I was not afraid, I was ecstatic. Perhaps I was just too naive to realize the gravity of that situation. At the time I figured two parents, two babies, one for each to hold. When I was on my own with them I still had two hands, one for each securely held little chubby hand. Even breastfeeding did not daunt me, afterall I do have two breasts, one for each tiny baby. While I was pregnant I had a myriad of problems including gestational diabetes, cardiac arrhythmias, a broken ankle, and it ended with being induced for pre-eclampsia and Bell's Palsy. Still, I didn't blink. It was all part of life, part of what makes us who we are, and it got me some pretty cute kids IMHO.

Lately however, many of you may have noticed that I've become a bit sour on life, a bit grumpier, a bit more negative. Amazingly it has nothing to do with my family, or does it? As you all know, our census has been down at work which means we don't need as many nurses which means I have been getting cancelled, A LOT! It also means that I haven't been getting paychecks, or very minimal paychecks for about 2 months now. It's not so much the paycheck I miss as the things I can do for my family with it. Due to this lack of funding, we have had to cancel nearly all extra-curricular activities including vacations which brings me to why I'm washing dishes on my anniversary, and how it's helping to redirect my attitude.

This morning my wonderful hubby let me sleep in. Having cancelled all our anniversary plans this seemed like a good thing to do. I was just moping anyway. Anyhoo, when he woke me up, he said if I would wash the crepe pan, he would go to the store and get some blackberries and make us some crepes. He also mentioned that he was planning to stay off his computer for the day since we should be spending it as a family (because that's what getting married got us.) I figured fair enough, and headed off to wash the crepe pan (which also meant doing a whole load of dishes because I couldn't make my way to the faucet to wash the one pan.) As I stood there washing I had an epiphany. Despite the financial difficulties right now we still have each other, we still have 3 beautiful girls, and we are all fairly healthy. I have a hubby who is making the best of the situation, and trying to make the day nice for both of us. I am also finally going to get his wonderful crepes (he's been promising to make them for me since I met him 16.5 years ago).

Finally, as I stood there washing away and contemplating life, he came home from the store with one of my favorite champagnes (that's a funny story in itself), and a bunch of red roses. He said since we were limited, he was going to get me a small present from everywhere he went today. How sweet is that?

The day is little more than half over, but I'm already smiling about it fondly, and getting ready to meet the coming year with a new found peppy attitude. You over there, yeah, you dark stormy clouds, go away!! You're no longer welcome. The sun is shining, and I'm sure I see a rainbow on the horizon.

Heart of Black

Since I met my hubby approximately 16.5 years ago we have joked about the fact that he's dead inside, has a little black heart, no feelings, etc. I'm telling you right here and now that's not true. He is a sensitive caring tough guy. The reason all this got started was because I never saw him cry, and we were having a conversation about that one day many years ago. Tough guys don't cry, right?

Anyhoo, today we were talking about something totally unrelated, and he says, "Do you want to make me cry?" To which I responded, "Yes, I do." He laughed and muttered something about his shriveled, black heart. Could I leave it at that? Nooooooo. Instead I mentioned that didn't need an entire sensitive muscle, I'd be happy if he could just come up with a sensitive tendon in his body. Again he laughed. Do you see a pattern here?