Wednesday, May 31, 2006

My girls hit two with a vengeance

The day of their 2nd birthday (which is almost a month ago now) my girls woke up screaming. Not the normal way for them to wake up. Riley usually jumps up ready to play while Sam likes to cuddle for a bit before getting her play on. We knew this could not bode well, and it hasn't.

My normally happy, playful girls have become miniture fountains of terror spouting words such as no (pronounced gnome by Riley), flinging defiant stares, flowing in directions the polar opposite to which they should be moving, and generally driving their mom (me) crazy. Now many people would say I'm close enough to walk, but even if I weren't this would do it.

I grew up with parents of the depression. You did what your parents asked and didn't think twice about it. Yes, there was yelling sometimes, and yes a few spankings. I can't say that anything was undeserved or overdone, and I am none the worse for wear for it. However, I have made it my goal to parent in a calm, cool, collected manner. OK, pick yourselves up off the floor, stop laughing, and read on. It's taken a mere two years and one month for the girls to break me. Today I actually yelled at my precious Riley. I felt horrible. Will I do it again? Undoubtedly. Will I be proud of that, or happy about it, or even accepting of it? Never. I can only hope that I can curb myself 99% of the time and keep my mouth in check. For that 1% of the time, I will always feel remorseful, embarrassed, saddened, and hopefully renewed in my desire to parent differently.


At 01 June, 2006 08:34, Blogger wen said...

Don't be too hard on yourself!

It sounds like you do such a conscious job of parenting that a raised voice here or there is just that--a raised voice. It doesn't mean you have a crummy parenting style or that you've done irreparable harm.

It might be good for the girls to know you're human, too! I remember when I realized "oh, wow, my actions make my parents crazy." :) I think I behaved better after that insight!

At 01 June, 2006 13:16, Blogger Rich said...

Hey!!! Big hug for ya!!! Im not a parent, and therefore have no parenting advice for ya and I am sorry for that. If I was to give some advice i think it would sound just like what WEN just said. Ive seen you in action and I know for a fact that your parenting skills are top notch. Dont beat yourself up for this little incident. It sounds like it was a nessecary action in order to reinforce 2 solid years of quality parenting. Did you get her attention. Yup, then mission accomplished. Keep up the good work MaMa.

At 01 June, 2006 14:39, Blogger seajade said...

Hey! I have really admired your patience and calmness and love as you have made it through the last two years of sometimes challenging parenting with your dynamic duo. Those two intelligent little beings will continue to challenge you and sometimes may even break you. Know first that you are good of heart and any break will seem big to you but is probably very small in the long run and will not permanently damage their psyches. Keep it up good mommy. And forgive me if sometimes I laugh at their shenanigans when I really shouldn't ........ Can't help myself.

At 01 June, 2006 14:59, Blogger Jennie said...

Dude! Give yourself a break. I remember the first time I yelled at Graham, and he didn't react. He didn't know that you're supposed to be scared when someone yells... because he hadn't been yelled at before.

She'll be fine. 2 yr olds are hard. And you have two, so 2 x 2 = ten million 2 yr olds. (it's the new math.)


At 02 June, 2006 02:03, Blogger snarfdog said...

Thank you all. Your kind words have helped more than you know. The girls continue to be trying, but I suppose that's what they're suppose to be doing right now. Testing, testing, testing.

At 02 June, 2006 13:56, Blogger Andrea said...

like everyone's already said, don't beat yourself up. it's not like you're yelling from the couch while eating carbs. ;o)

i only hope to be as calm and collected as you are with the girls.

At 16 June, 2006 14:40, Blogger Andrea said...

hey, it's been over two weeks since you last blogged! start typing! i'm ready to be entertained!


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