If this is a test from the universe, you can stop now.

Today I had something happen that I had hoped and prayed would not happen again - Sam had another seizure. I can't even explain the emotions that are flowing through me right now, and the look on Sam's face that I had sort of managed to stuff down into the back of my memory is back, bigger than ever.

While I realize that there are a lot of people out there that have things a WHOLE LOT worse than I do, I'm beginning to wonder what I did to anger the universe. In the last year and a little bit, I have had Bell's Palsy, broken my ankle, had a cancer scare with one daughter and a bladder/kidney problem with her requiring daily antibiotics for who knows how long, a brother hospitalized for severe pancreatitis, a sister with breast cancer, my dad who suffered a heart attack, my SIL going through foot surgery this week, and now one of my beautiful little girls has had her second seizure.

We don't know what this means yet. It might mean long term medication, it will most surely require more tests requiring IV's, wires, and drugs. My mind is all a whirl right now. The only picture I can see is her seizing face. I can't imagine ever leaving her again, even for work. My poor sweet baby who doesn't understand what has happened to her.